A woman walks into a fairly normal, IKEA furniture filled, living room/kitchen with a massive bouquet of flowers in a vase. She tries a few places around the room to put them down, decides on the kitchen counter, turns it a few times to get the angle right. Then exits.
A young boy comes in, smells the flowers, then pulls a small plastic bag with a couple of tadpoles in water. He pours the tadpoles into the vase.
Boy: there you are. Feels like home, eh?
He taps the glass a couple of times but the tadpoles have attached themselves to the stems of the flowers.
Boy: Yeah, you look happier. Just lay low.
He checks on them once again, then exits.
The woman comes in again, with another giant thing of flowers, looks around hopelessly before deciding to carry them out again.
The boy comes in with something in his pockets. He opens the oven doors and pulls out two small mice. He pops them in the oven.
Boy: yeah, I know, it's not ideal but there's air in there and I'll make sure no one uses the oven. She's not a baker anyway, I promise. And once I've got a small cage I'll move you to my room. No, no, you stay there.
He closes the oven. Exits.
The woman comes in with a human size box of chocolates, plants them in the middle of the room, by the sofa, quite quickly and exits again. Pops her head around to see if the box is okay, then exits again.
The boy comes in with a snake around his neck. He seems a bit uneasy.
Boy: Okay, where do we put you? Oh, jesus, I shouldn't have agreed to look after you but it's hard to say no. I mean, look how cool you are.
He eyes the fridge.
Boy: yeah, cool, like ice cold.
He opens the fridge with his toes and carefully places the snake in the middle of the fridge.
Boy: I hope my science teacher was right about you guys having cold blood buddy.
He closes the fridge. Thinks to himself a bit, is a bit worried the snake might not go undetected in the fridge. Has an idea. Runs out.
Enters again with a load of slightly crumpled advertisement leaflets for pizza places and chinese. Sticks them quite obviously on the fridge door. Looks at his work as someone who has just finished a masterpiece. Leaves.
The woman comes in with a double bass but can't get past the giant box of chocolates. Decides to park it in a lounge chair. Exits. Enters again with a tuba. Again with four fiddles. Again with a saxophone - all of these end up on the sofa. Enters again with a bass drum. Looks at the instruments and decides against the drum kit. Brings in a tambourine instead. puts it on the coffee table. Exits.
The boy enters with a golden retriever puppy in his arms, takes a look at all the instruments and looks a bit confused, then opens up one of the cupboards in the kitchen. It is full of cereal. He pulls a couple of boxes out, puts the dog in their place, grabs a handful of cereal and puts it on the shelf with the puppy. The puppy sniffs the food.
Boy: Everyone loves cereal. Aren't you just the cutest thing ever?
The doorbell goes. The boy closes the cupboard and runs out.
The woman enters chit chatting with a group of musicians. They all take an instrument, tune up, get settled, go over the first few notes of a tune, the woman looking eagerly at them, smiling. She finally hurries out of the door. The musicians smile at each other.
The woman comes back in, half dressed in a nicer dress, frantically trying to hang up bunting that reads WELCOME HOME, runs out again.
The boy runs in with a handful of kittens, puts them in the chocolates box, runs out again.
The doorbell goes again. The musicians look around as if to see if they should get it. Then a woman's voice goes HELLO and they click into gear and start playing.
A teenage girl comes into the room looking slightly terrified. The boy runs around pulling the animals out of their hiding places and placing them in front of her, the woman opens up the box of chocolates only to find the kittens, screams and throws them on the floor, where the snake is, which pounces on them, the dog starts barking, the mice give the double bass player a fright so he/she quickens up the music and it all goes pretty crazy from there.
The teenager throws up as the tune finishes.
Hi, this is a little experiment in writing, where I will write one short play (most of which will be awful) a day for the month of February. They're not polished, there are no rules, I just write them and post them. But I have to post one a day.