Play 21 - No Words

I lost my words
I mean, they are here somewhere but I don't readily have access to them
Like, the big ones
The ones I mean to use
They fail me
Repeatedly
Probably just exhausted
Tired
see... can't think of other words for tired now
knackered! That's a good one
It comes from having used too many
sometimes I think we are only given so many words a day
or even like so many breaths per life time
maybe everything is measured
but not equally
there are only so many beats a heart can make I guess
but no way of telling
sort of like I don't have any way of telling when my words will go missing
I'll be walking down the street on the phone and suddenly I can't find the word for chicken
thingy
the stuff with the thing
feathery
no
I mean
wings
you eat them
I like the wings
with BBQ sauce
aye
chicken
oof
how can you not remember what a chicken is called?
Next time it will be the name of someone
or a phenomenon
a title of a film
or even just describing what I'm doing
what I do
who I am
I lose the words and then who knows
Maybe I'm no-one
maybe I'm just thingy
or a whatchamacallit
or a youknowwhatImean
Sometimes I switch languages, like a word will only be there in German or something
it doesn't make any sense but the brain just scratches up whatever it can find, really
I don't know why
I don't know why and I can't describe it
pretty poor going really
pretty
whatyoucallit
Ach, you know what I mean
as long as I know what I mean
But then, one day
this thingy...
I won't be able to tell you at all what I mean
I'll try not to get irritated at you
it's just
I thought I had words
but I've lost them
I keep losing them, like mittens in a kindergarten
there
and then
​gone