Play 24 - Fairy Tale
Snow White: God, If I see another glass coffin I'm gonna kill myself, myself
Cinderella: Try being ferried around in pumpkin
Little Red Riding Hood (Red): wow, privileged much? Either of you had to dig your granny out of a wolf's stomach?
Cinderella: uh, what? how am I privileged?
Red: what, gonna play the evil stepmother card? The oh no my mum died card?
Cinderella: I might
Snow White: okay, I think I have dibs on the worst step mum here
Snow White: yeah, like, did yours cast you out or try and poison you? Kill you? Leave you with seven pervy dwarfs? No, didn't think so
Cinderella: I work bloody hard for that woman, and her other daughters do nothing at all
Red: so really you have lazy sisters, not a bad stepmom. Get over yourself
Snow White: yeah, get over yourself
Red: uh, you too clown make up fetisher
Snow White: what?
Red: you heard me. Miss I was born a princess and got everything in life handed to me
Snow White: I died
Red: oh, Christ, you were in a coma
Snow White: they were about to bury me
Red: wish they had
Cinderella: hang on. Your home life is pretty perfect and you call us privileged? Miss 'oh no I have to take my grandma some baking, my life is so hard!'
Red: Through the woods!
Snow White: So? I lived in a dwarf man cave! In the woods! One of them is actually called Sneezy, it's pretty gross!
Red: well neither of you had to witness any real gruesomeness
Snow White: no, just attempted murder
Cinderella: and my sisters chopping up their feet. CHOPPING UP THEIR FEET
Snow White: but yeah, wolf blood is terrible. You could have just left him open but you sadistic as you are decided to fill him with stones instead, prolong the poor beast's misery
Red: it was one creepy wolf
Cinderella: it was pretty gross
Snow White: so? Grumpy isn't great but I don't torture him!
Cinderella: so, anyone for more tea?
Red: I think we've moved on to wine
Snow White: yeah, or cocktails
Red: we deserve it
Cinderella: to our messed up life experiences!
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Hi, this is a little experiment in writing, where I will write one short play (most of which will be awful) a day for the month of February. They're not polished, there are no rules, I just write them and post them. But I have to post one a day.